Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?


Strangely enough my first post is going to be about Abraham Lincoln. And yet…it’s not strange at all. I’ve always been a great admirer of President Lincoln for numerous reasons…primarily, that any man who has penmanship that beautiful should be respected. But, really. There seems to be a sudden craze in media over the life of our 16th President. Everything from books to documentaries to movies. And then, in a league of it’s own, there’s this:


Honestly, I’ve never been so confused over why a movie was created. Yes, there were times when I smiled to myself. Any man who swings an axe like a ninja turtle deserves at least a grin…but most of the movie was build up for an ending as satisfying at the octagon of a plot. The continual suspense of a villain who, after two hours of torment then ends up killed in three seconds of fiery fury, brings me to a couple questions about this story of honest Abe.

1. Why was his mentor (Henry) allowed to keep his unfounded British accent? Other British co-stars such as Rufus Sewell and Joseph Mawle were forced to shelve their native tongue for all American drawls.

2. And SPEAKING OF Rufus Sewell (who plays the nemesis vampire Adam) why, if he had lived in Africa, Europe and every other continent during is eternal life, does he have a southern drawl American accent?! He obviously wasn’t born on US soil…

3. Why so many blunt objects lodged in people’s heads? I get it, you have to take off the head of a vampire to kill it…but must we see swords, bullets etc. lodged there? Wouldn’t the close range of shooting cause the weapon to further penetrate than skin level…or if not, ricochet off?

4. Why the hell is Harriet Tubman BFF’s with Mary Todd Lincoln? Historically, Harriet never even met the Lincolns. Not that this movie is built on historical relevance, but I just thought I should bring it to point.

5. Where did the Lincoln’s other children go??? Willie did live and die at a young age, but there were three other Lincoln boys, which would have also all been alive at that part at the story. Way to just cut some main characters…they could have at least mentioned the poor boys, even if they didn’t want to pay for the additional actors.

There are more, but I probably shouldn’t clutter. I’ve been told less is more. Overall, I probably wouldn’t recommend this movie. I’d probably give it 5/10 some of the slow motion cinematography was, warranted, well done. But overall the movie lacked a solid plot, characters that could connect to the audience and believable historic background. Daniel Day Lewis is next on my list. Let’s hope he doesn’t disappoint.